Clean Up in Kindergarten

The event that would soon make my name as a substitute teacher synonymous with “Clean Up in Mrs. G’s Room” was percolating, just waiting to happen. I was subbing for a fabulous Kindergarten teacher. I knew that I would have a great day when it began in her room. It was guaranteed success.

The children and I had been enjoying a morning of cutting, pasting, singing, and snacks. Then, Diego stood up, looking a little green around the gills, and whispered, “I feel wobbly inside.” I made a mad dash for a garbage can to catch the “wobbly”, but he couldn’t wait. He showered the floor with puke. I froze. And in that instant, the entire classroom ran to his side to see why he was crying and to inspect the mess he had made. Before I could shoo the children back to their seats, the moment of ignominy occurred. First, Darcy squealed, “Ewww!! I hate the smell of puke! It makes me –” . Yes, Darcy, we now know what it makes you do. Darcy’s puke quickly co-mingled with that of Diego. I was trying to use the intercom to call for a janitor, but two more little inspectors erphed into what was morphing from a small pool to a large pond of puke.

There was only one thing to do, and I did not care that it wasn’t our turn because I was willing to face the consequences. We needed to hit the playground asap, before anyone else had the chance to be sick. Mr. Bradford, the janitor, showed up with his mop and bucket, expecting to have a small mess to clean up. When he saw the disaster that I was leaving him to face, the look he gave me could have vaporized me, had I not rushed out the door, shouting “Thank you!!” over my shoulder. He never liked me after that day.

Clean

11 thoughts on “Clean Up in Kindergarten

  1. LOL he never liked you after that. As a former teacher, I will never forget when one of the kids could not make it to the nurses office and lost it all over my shoes. What made it even more funny was the kid was the kid of the teacher next store and felt so bad cause I ended up teaching barefoot. She bought me a new pair of shoes after school! LOL -Bruce

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for a much needed larf. This bit had me LOLing the most:
    I made a mad dash for a garbage can to catch the “wobbly”

    However I didn’t manage any ROFLing. I never have ROFLed though to be fair. I don’t think anyone has to be honest. I think it’s a dirty myth. Unless they have a keyboard stashed down on the floor especially for ROFLing emergencies. No, I think they’re just terrible liars. And the worst of it is they belittle my perfectly satisfactory LOLing. Don’t even get me started on these preposterous ROFLMAO nincompoops. They’re just rude.
    Anyway you did make me larf and that’s quite an achievement today.

    You are very good at writing these funny pieces. You should collate them into a book. Good use of igmonimnominionminy(nailed it)

    Liked by 1 person

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